Stuck

I am admitting that I am stuck. I’ve been feeling stuck for weeks. I’m bound up and coiled around this dissertaion as it ties my thinking up into knots.

As I struggle through the writing of the discussion section of the dissertation, I find myself stuck in stuff that takes me hours and weeks to pull through. What am I doing as a result of getting stuck? I’ve gone back to reread the literature, searched for new works that have been published more recently, and I’ve been talking to trusted friends who can help me with new perspectives or just listen as I vent.

Why am I stuck? It’s not making sense to me. I haven’t got a framework upon which to base the findings. I’m making it up without a plan. I write something, and then throw it away because it doesn’t feel like it fits. I’m not making the right connections between the findings and the research I’ve got from the literature review.

What to do? Maybe taking a break from it all might help. While I am juggling hospital visits with a close family member in rehab from a recent serious fall, there are breaks in my days, but not a concentrated withdrawal from the pressure of production. This dissertation won’t write itself – I need the discussion to crystallize from my findings. That, like the diamond I’m imagining will emerge, requires time and pressure to crystallize. I’ve got the pressure that is self imposed, but haven’t taken the time to let that process support my crystallization.

Where will I go from here? Perhaps I can go back to reading and thinking. Spending my time on other endeavours while I let the pressure form my thinking might be the best thing for this process.