Wondering and Wandering

There is a mess of data before me. There are complex inter-tanglings happening that seem to be strapping me down and holding me from moving forward. At times I feel like Gulliver, strung to the ground by Lilliputians. Other times I feel like I can glimpse sunlight through a crack in the wall. I was aware of this messy stage in the research and dissertation writing, but nothing could prepare me for the struggle. No words of wisdom from committee members or critical colleagues can help me find the way through this messiness and complexity. The many twists and turns, starts and stops, false trails, and elusive ideas are part of my own struggle as I do this work called research – crafting data analysis, conducting data reviews, beginning the dissertation document, reading current research, all while I continue to connect ideas together.

Will it get easier? I can hope! Will it end? Absolutely! Will the struggle be worth it? Perhaps.

One great challenge is living up to my own expectations and planned schedules. I’ve heard the adage of ‘a good dissertation is a done dissertation’ and heeded this clarion call to ‘get’r’done’. There is no easy way to do this – the mess remains before me and sense making must come from the multitude of details found in the data. While I am feeling the pressure of time, since my original planning had me well into dissertation writing by now, I must acknowledge that there is no timeline other than the one I’ve imposed. This appears to let. me off the hook for getting anything done within a time frame, which I can also use as an excuse for wandering around other research pathways. This is not helpful and I’ve had to call myself out on this a few times already.

In order to keep track of what I am doing and holding myself accountable, I’ve started using NOTION software to track my daily task – keeping a list of things I’ve done appears to help. At least it’s a way of letting me know where I’ve managed to keep on track and where I’ve wandered into other areas. Side projects can be a distraction from the dissertation work, but can also add some interesting connections to the writing I’m doing. For instance, a recent article I’ve read for the book chapter I’m writing on the topic of educommunication connected to the second round of coding I’ve just done on U.F.’s interview, with reference to Freire’s conception of ‘necrophilic pedagogy’ (Farag et al., 2021). Even saying this brings back the memory of that moment in the interview where U.F. reads from Freire’s book, which helps me realize that coding matters and that memorable moments can become a way to make meaningful connections to my data.

Wondering and my next steps

I’m returning to three considerations I made earlier in my research process: 1) examine discourse analysis (Gee, 2005); 2) craft coding charts (as modelled in Angela N.’s dissertation); and 3) revisit the elements of teaching (Banner & Cannon,

Discourse analysis is “a human task that challenges us to think deeply about the meanings we attach to other people’s words in order to make ourselves better and the world a more humane place”.

Gee, 2011.

1. Discourse Analysis: Gee identifies tools to use when analyzing discourse and communication. In my review of these tools, there are several that may support and inform my data analysis. While the extensive detail of information that can be derived from DA, this may not necessarily add the necessary information to gain meaningful understanding from the interview data. From the list, I highlight in bold text those that may be helpful in some small way:

Gee describes the importance of context when analyzing communication, in whatever format is is produced. Context is “the physical setting in which the communication takes place and everything in it; the bodies, eye gaze, gestures, and movements of those present; what has previously been said and done by those involved in the communication; any shared knowledge those involved have, including shared cultural knowledge” (p. 6). One practical application to transcription is the use of capital letters within the text to indicate emphatic stress, when words are “said with emphasis (indicated either by extra loudness or a pitch change)” (p. 15).

2. Coding Charts: The example that was shared with me from a friend who has completed her dissertation prior to defending her thesis is one that I think I need to apply as I struggle to make sense of the data. The chart structure included in the appendices of the dissertation document model a way to organize the themes from both the literature review and the data analysis. Some of the specific terms and categories connect to my own research, so provide a guide for me as I work through the data analysis and make sense of the information.

3. Elements of Teaching

Banner and Cannon write about ten characteristics that teachers possess: learning, authority, ethics, order, imagination, compassion, patience, tenacity, character, and pleasure (Kong & Chi, 2021). In the review of the second edition of this book, Kong and Chi (2021) petition educators to “cultivate their understanding of education as being wholly about the human and that such qualities of humanity qualify teaching methodologies and techniques to be viewed as an art” (p. xiii). Perhaps there is a way to crystallize these elements into the theoretical frameworks I am using for this research?

I’ll continue to reflect and share these struggles as I think aloud through this messy, complex phase of the research process, not only to help clarify my ideas, but to provide a window of hope to those who may find this blog site and learn from this experience.

References

Banner, J. M., & Cannon, H. C. (2017). The elements of teaching (2nd ed.). Yale University Press.

Farag, A., Greeley, L., & Swindell, A. (2021). Freire 2.0: Pedagogy of the digitally oppressed. Educational Philosophy and Theory, 1–14. https://doi.org/10.1080/00131857.2021.2010541

Gee, J. P. (2011). How to do discourse analysis: A toolkit. Routledge.

Gee, J. P. (2005) An Introduction to Discourse Analysis: Theory and Method. 2nd ed. London: Routledge.

Kong, X., & Chi, C. (2021). Book Review: The Elements of Teaching. Canadian Journal of Education/Revue Canadienne de l’éducation, 44(4), xi–xiv. https://doi.org/10.53967/cje-rce.v44i4.5377